As is usually the case after I deliver a baby, my computer is driving me nuts. I have some brilliant business idea and am gung-ho for a few days. I purchase a domain name, set up a website, and research and install some software (I actually did all of this last week). Then due to crazy hormones, exhaustion, children all boinging around in Tigger-ish fashion, and a general lack of sleep/food/time, my brain goes into a gigantic fuzz and I don’t feel like actually doing anything constructive when I’m online. So after I do my regular computer work for Gymboree News, I digress into general time wasting that looks like this:

First, I will go to Gymboree/Gap/Old Navy/Crazy 8 websites and place several items in my cart where I will not actually purchase them but where they will sit for several weeks until they sell out.

Then I will go to eBay and search for clothes for the kids or myself and place several items on my watch list where I will not actually bid on them but where they will sit until the auctions end.

After that I will hop onto my blog reader which automatically checks for updates on all my favorite blogs. There I will find out that it is James Marsters’ (Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) birthday or that some new Firefly figurine is coming out. These are not actually things that I care about.

My other blogs will tell my that my friends are potty training their children, my SIL is painting their house, and my other BIL & SIL are doing well with my new little Ethiopian adoptee nephew. These are things that I do care about, but they take up a lot of time (much in the same way I am taking up your time by posting about fluff. Bwahahahahaha!).

After I’m done reading all that, I’ll go over to the Drudge Report and read important world news so I don’t sound like a total imbecile who has no idea what is going on if it doesn’t involve things like how many hours a night her new baby sleeps and whether or not she can get her children to eat salad.

Unfortunately the site also has links to insidious entertainment news and I always end up on one of those stupid British tabloid sites like the Daily Mail reading about English rockers that I’ve never heard of and how their legs are too skinny or they got plastered last weekend. Why, why do I do this??? I know; I have no self-control.

So last Friday after spending an hour and a half on eBay looking for a new beanie for Henry to wear to Family Camp next month since obviously babies need cute hats and summer is not beanie season and he is growing out of his current set of cute beanies, it occurred to me that I had yarn, crochet hooks, and a little booklet on how to crochet a hat upstairs in my closet. I do not crochet. Or knit. Or do anything that involves craft or art or making pretty stuff with my hands. However, my Grandmother does. My Grandmother who lives in Arizona.

Last year (or maybe even the year before) I purchased these items to give to Trinity for her birthday. We were going to be with my grandparents around the time of her birthday and I was thinking that maybe my Grandma could teach Trinity how to crochet. Since my Grandparents live in Arizona and we don’t see them more than once every year or two, this would be a good opportunity for her to get to know Grandma better.

Then it occurred to me that Trinity was probably a bit young for this (although she may be getting close now) and that when she came back home wanting to do projects, she would come ask me a bunch of questions that I wouldn’t know how to answer and then she would slink away in disappointment. Obviously that’s no good! And so the supplies have been upstairs in my closet for two years.

In a rush of disgust with my computer and how much time I spend doing precisely nothing on it (half the time I even watch TV over the top of my laptop in an amazing display of wasting time two ways at the same time), I ran upstairs to start my new half-cocked crochet project. I opened the booklet expecting useful instructions and was greeted with this and entire pages like it: “2nd rnd: With B, ch 1. 1 sc in each st around. Join with sl st to first sc.” Since my children ran off with my universal secret decoder ring, this meant nothing to me. The booklet had diagrams and a key to help you decipher all the ridiculous abbreviations, but I was fairly sure that by the time I figured out what I was supposed to be doing I would have too much arthritis for it to be of any use.

What to do? Return to my computer, of course! No, not eBay or the Drudge Report this time. Google! You can find anything on Google and when you type “How to crochet a baby beanie” into the search box, it comes up with all kinds of websites including how-to videos on YouTube where nice ladies with slightly southern accents actually show you how to crochet hats. Perfect!

I discovered all this around 11:00 on Friday night and when I finally found the end of the yarn after half an hour of poking around the skein, I was ready to go. So I crocheted about twenty stitches, got tired, and went to bed. Saturday I worked on it some more, tore it apart about six times, and by Sunday night Henry had a new red hat. Pretty cute one too! Monday and yesterday I made and finished a matching one for Georgie and now I’m working on ones for all the girls. Heehee! Now while I’m wasting time in the evening letting my brain decompress from all the craziness during the day, I can actually make something while I watch TV. Ta da! Plus I can crochet while I nurse. I can also type while I nurse but only when he’s nursing on the left side because I need my right hand to do it…..

So that’s what’s been going on around here. Well, unless you count things like laundry, cleaning, nagging kids (name Georgie) to get their homework done, cooking, and potty training Faith which I started doing yesterday, training children to not “whack” each other (as Faith keeps complaining that Kyra has been doing to her), and all the other super-exciting Mom things that keep me running from the time I wake up until the time I drop back into bed. But really, why would you want to count that? Just because it is pretty much the composition of my actual life….

Rachel

I love reading your posts Rachel. I think you of all people do not have to worry about sounding like an imbecile!

Hmm..I may have to check out those youtube videos…after we sell our house.

WOOOWWWWIIEEE!!!!!!!!!! You finished a crafty thigny!! Im mega impressed… Now you too wil be hooked on “hooking”

Good for you! You finished it!! Now if only I could finish that project I was telling you about on Sunday….arrgg….

Way to go! Now where’s the picture of said cute hat?

“First, I will go to Gymboree/Gap/Old Navy/Crazy 8 websites and place several items in my cart where I will not actually purchase them but where they will sit for several weeks until they sell out.

Then I will go to eBay and search for clothes for the kids or myself and place several items on my watch list where I will not actually bid on them but where they will sit until the auctions end.”

This is me! I do both of those things all the time. Same stores even!

You know, three other people have told me that they do exactly the same thing too. I like to think of it as window shopping….

Rachel

The only problem is with the eBay stuff…when I have the “ended” items in my watched list, they taunt me. “Look at me, I’m a cute outfit, if you had bothered to bid you could have had me for just $5. Neener neener!”