Tonight my wonderful children decided to put on a play. They do this occasionally, most often at Christmas time when they feel an urgent need to perform the Nutcracker every day for a month. Since they are now old enough to have figured out that this, alas, is nowhere near Christmas time, they needed a more summer-appropriate performance. When my son came this morning and asked if I had any ideas, I think my response resembled a troll grunt well enough that he decided perhaps figuring something out himself might be safer.

Later in the afternoon, he bounded in (I think he’s genetically incapable of walking) to tell me that they were going to do the story of Jesus but a little different. Hoping this wasn’t going to be completely sacrilegious, I bored holes through his skull with my eyes until he elaborated that there was only going to be one shepherd and things like that due to umm, casting problems (he and two sisters comprise the entire Shubin acting guild). Okay, that’s no big deal. Off he went to go rehearse. I didn’t point out to him that this was still a Christmas play.

Hubby arrived home, and after dinner it was time for the play. To mimic a barn floor, the children had covered the entire cement patio in dirt, which they had carefully swept around with a broom to make it even. Trinity had a little manger and dolly to complete her Mary theme, and Georgie was in the yard herding grasshoppers… or grass… or something.

Anika in her Belle costume (from Beauty and the Beast) jumped onto the trampoline to proclaim the good news (she was the angel) to Georgie, which served as the cue for him to run up to the deck and throw her the new costume for her wardrobe change (new costume was a karate uniform, which I’m sure the Gospel of Mark mentions Joseph wearing to intimidate the ninja warriors hired by Herod…). While Anika repositioned herself beside Mary, Georgie prepared his shepherd gift, a gift fit for the King.

In he gravely walked (after knocking on the invisible door) and knelt down on bended knee, opened the chest containing the priceless treasure, and in awe we all beheld…. the butter knife. At this part I started giggling uncontrollably (which the kids didn’t seem to appreciate) and couldn’t stop until about five minutes after the play finished. Actually, I’m still giggling a little bit.

Hubby, on the other hand, immediately began asking impertinent questions: “Is it a sword?”

“No, it’s a knife”

“Is it the dagger from Lord of the Rings?”

{Mommy giggles}

“No, it’s just a dagger”

“Is it the sword of Excalibur?”

{Mommy hides her face in a blanket so the kids won’t see the tears}

“NO, IT’S JUST A KNIFE!”

Then Georgie left to go get the second gift. And down on bended knee, he again presented Mary with the priceless treasure… hey, what is that? It was getting dark, and the gift looked like a circular object about two inches in diameter. We started guessing:

Me: Is it a rock?

Hubby: Is it a pirate medallion?

Me: Is it a police badge?

The kids never even bothered to answer, but I’m pretty sure it was a thunder egg slice that Trinity got for her birthday last year. I don’t think any of the kids could remember what it was called. 

And that was the end of the play. So now we know that the thing that baby Jesus wanted the most was neither gold, frankincense, myrrh, or a little boy with a drum to play an annoying song but rather was a butter knife. Maybe next year He’ll get a tea set!

Rachel

Written by Rachel Shubin ~ Fiendish friend for effusive fun!