Do this really need further exposition? In case you are one of those blissful childless people who has never experienced this lovely pastime, I just want you to know that when you have kids and get to potty training (by which time, hopefully I’ll be done or maybe have only one left), I plan to laugh at you a lot when you complain about how rotten it is.

Faith is nearly two (Feb 1st), has become rather more compliant in the last few months (which was a surprise because she was such a stinker at 18 months and is, after all, nearly two), and her verbal skills are improving enough that she would be able to tell us when she has to go potty if we were to get her trained. Plus, she occasionally goes over to the diaper box and starts looking like, “errrr, can someone change me please,” when she needs to be changed and no one has noticed yet. All of these are good indicators that she’s about ready.

Plus, the new baby is two months away and if I start now, she should be completely done by then with plenty of time to spare so I won’t have to mess with two in diapers. I’ve done that three times before, and you end up spending all day changing diapers. It’s a tad on the depressing side….

We like the inaccurately-name “one day” potty training method over here. Basically, the first day you give them tons and tons and tons to drink and basically they sit on the potty chair all day and you sit with them and read to them or do something nearby and recruit siblings to help entertain them. Whenever they actually go to the bathroom in the chair, you make a huge deal over it and give them M & M’s or something (this time it’s chocolate chips, since that’s what’s in my cupboard).

This gives them a pretty good idea of how their plumbing works and what it feels like when they have to go and where they’re supposed to be going (you know, not on the sofa) and how great it is to go in the right place because hey, chocolate!

The next day I usually put them in plastic pants and let them run around, but put them on the potty every half an hour (yes, I actually set the timer so I know when it’s time for them to pee). I do that for a few days. By the end of the week, they’re usually pretty much done (starting on a Monday is good and a week where virtually nothing else is going on and you aren’t going anywhere is helpful too).

Trinity was done including overnight in one week, Kyra took two, Anika took about a month to really have everything worked out including naptimes and bedtime, and Georgie…. we won’t talk about. Georgie did his usual trick for that age, which was to figure out precisely what I wanted him to do and how to do it on the very first day and then to immediately decide that he wasn’t going to do it because it was much more fun to pee on the floor, the couch, the chair, and everywhere else and then come and tell me what he had done with a huge grin on his face. Not the brightest of tactics. It was all out war for several months.

Anyway, I decided to start Faith this morning. I was really tired this morning and the only juice I had lying around was apple juice, so not thinking very clearly, I gave her a bunch of that. Now she has a lovely case of diarrhea! First one made it into the potty chair (hurray!). Next two not so much. Stupid Mommy! We are going to wait a couple more days until that clears back up and then start over. There’s no point to beginning training a kid with the runs. They can’t tell what’s coming and don’t have as much warning. It’s just too hard for them to gauge.

This will put us at Thursday, which is not the ideal day to start. Hmmm, I may have just found the excuse I needed to put this off for another week. Hehe. Since I spent all morning sitting on the kitchen floor reading things like “Pajama Time” and “I am a Bunny” to a small, half-naked child, my house is a disaster, I have six loads of laundry waiting to be folded on the couch, and I’m still exhausted.

At least dinner is planned out for the week, we have groceries (thank you, George), and I just pulled a loaf of bread out of the oven. Considering this morning’s activities, the house smells much better than it should (ahhh, one of the many redeeming qualities of fresh bread).

May your potty training years be brief (and nearly over), and your kitchen be fully stocked.

Rachel

I hate to stop and read this even though it is WAY PAST my bedtime. I was just thinking that I really need to come up with a plan to potty train the boys soon. I actually bought them a potty chair last SAT and it is out of the box but that is as far as we gotten. I had decided long ago to wait til they were 3, because #1) I tried with my girls when they first turned 2 and it was nothing but frustration for all involved so we waited some and it went much better #2) I know NOTHING about potty-training little boys…and two at at a time? YIKES! I have to admit I am a bit intimidated! Any suggestions? #3) I know I will get ABSOLUTELY NOTHING done once I start training them! I imagine it will be very time consuming and #4) like you my dear, I just plain HATE potty training! I will learn from your mistake and NOT use apple juice though. LOL! That was hilarious…to me…but then I didn’t have to clean up the aftermath! Still need to get some of those plastic pants too. But I do have the potty and the Mickey Mouse and CARS undies ready to go! Wish me luck! Hope Faith learns quickly!