We have six kids. That fact alone prompts stares virtually anytime we venture out with the whole group, but this week my charming nieces and nephews are in town from Florida, so Thursday evening we had the four of them spend the night with our six kiddos and then Friday we took all ten children (ages 3 to 13) on a wee field trip to our local museum of science and industry (OMSI).  

The lady at the ticket counter didn’t seem to think two to ten was high enough adult/child ratio. What she didn’t know was that there are tricks to taking bunches of kids out. Hehe. So here is a brief tutorial of how to take ten kids on an outing, which I’m sure you all do on a regular basis and will no doubt find completely invaluable.

1. Pick really nice kids to take. If you don’t know any nice kids, rent some. They’re worth the extra money. We chose these (in case you’re wondering why there are only nine here, Henry didn’t quite make it into this shot):

2. Own or steal a huge van:

3. Make sure there are two or more adults (or a couple of teenagers). Very important!

4. Fortify yourself. And no matter what they say, do not let them con you into buying them any of this:

5. Get there as close as possible to when your destination opens. Get them out of bed, stuff them with food. Then leave. Every moment you delay is one fewer minute you get to spend doing something fun with them before they get hungry, tired, or both and turn into lunatic. You do not want to be around when that happens to ten children. Think Zombieland: (and yes, this is actually my arm and watch).

6. Make them wear hats (or headscarves for the girls in the summer). Yes, you guys think I’m just hat-obsessed for no logical reason whatsoever, but guess what? It makes the kids infinitely easier to spot in a crowd. When I look around, instead of having to scan every head for hair and faces that look like the ones I want, I can skip most of them and just zero in on the ones with hats. This sounds absurd but it definitely makes them stick out more:

7. Now that you’re all organized, everyone pick a buddy! Guess what? You don’t actually have to have eyes on ten kids at all times. Before you go inside (at which point if this isn’t done they will be too distracted to function), tell each child that they need to pick a buddy, older kids with younger kids. Remind them that each older child is responsible for keeping track of their little one and each little one must mind the older one. Our guys immediately paired themselves off as follows:

Skyler and Faith

Anika and Silas

Georgie and Henry

Trinity and Olivia

Nichol and Kyra

What was funny to me about this was that none of these pairings are the ones I would have anticipated, but each set seemed to have a great time together. The older kids were extremely conscientious about keeping track of their little guys and the smaller ones were excellent about staying with their very own big kid.

We’d explore a particular section of the museum and each set of kids would go check out what looked interesting to them. When it was time to go to the next section, we just looked for pairs of hats. Easy peasy!

8. Have fun!

Do It Yourself Watershed

Safari Puppet Theater

Chem Lab (Trinity and Olivia spent ages in here and did nearly all of the experiments)

Look at the above picture of my son. That’s the goofy face he makes when I try to get pictures of him. And do you know why he does this? Here’s a hint:

But haha! I sneaked this one when he wasn’t looking.

9. Take them out to McDonald’s afterwards, but NO HAPPY MEALS (unless you have tons of money). We spent $27 on all twelve of us: two 10pc chicken nugget meals with two sodas and two fries, two large fries, one six piece chicken nuggets, three cheeseburgers, one hamburger, two large sodas, two waters, one filet of fish sandwich meal, on spicy chicken sandwich. It’s called sharing.

My favorite part of the above picture is the three people in the left corner staring at us like we’re insane. I zoomed on the lady with the black hair and she’s looking directly into my lens. Hahaha! Did I mention that people stare like this everywhere we go?

9. And lastly, take lots of pictures (this is the part I usually forget. Thank you, phone camera!). That’s it! Now you are ready to round up all the children in your neighborhood and take them to a museum.

Thank you, Nichol, Skyler, Olivia, and Silas for coming with us. Spending the day with the ten of you kids was a joy, and you’re all getting so grown up! Love you guys.

Auntie Rachel

Long have I claimed that children are a little loose in the screws, but now I have photographic evidence. You know how most people sleep in their beds with actual blankets covering them? Well, my smaller girls have decided that something so pedestrian really will not do and have come up with alternative sleeping arrangements:

Here’s Faithy

And Kyra

And yes, they have indeed tucked blankets through the slats of the top bunk to form girly little cocoon beds. They actually do somehow sleep in these things… at least until I catch them and return them to people-land. Maybe it’s like a hammock.

And how, you may ask, did they come with this brilliant idea? How the heck should I know! The minds of small children are bizarre, inscrutable places full of curiosity and frivolity. Who knows what goes on in there. Yikes!

Here is Henry’s cuteness for the day. I got him dressed today but didn’t put any shoes on him. Apparently that was not suitable to his footwear needs, so he found something he could put on himself.

Yes, those are Faith’s red patent leather church shoes he’s wearing. Really, this child is too cute for his own good.

See Kyra’s shoes? Henry had those on first. I’m not entirely sure how she got them off of his feet without some sort of cataclysmic event. Like the orange blob? Faith insisted on being in the picture and wearing that. Why? Did you not read the previous paragraph re: children’s minds?? Especially that child!

Personally, I think Henry’s shoes kind of work with the truck. Of course, everyone knows that red patent leather shoes go with everything.

Rachel

P.S. Grandpa and Grandma (and anyone else), here are two more recent photo albums if you want to peruse. Got some halfway decent shots.

Steps for LIfe Walkathon 5/15/10

Stonehenge Road Trip 5/29/10